LaNUBlog™

Two little boys stole a big bag of Oranges From a neighbor and decided to go to a calm place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the big gate to enter the cemetery,

By Divine Chiemeka: I went wit a friend to visit his babe from a very rich family. The maid approached me &asked MAID: what would u like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee? ME: tea pls. MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, Jericho gold tea, bush tea or green tea? ME: Ceylon tea pls. MAID: how do u want it, black or white? ME: white. ... MAID: milk or fresh cream? ME: with milk. MAID: goat milk or cow milk? ME: cow’s milk. MAID: freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow? ME: umm, let me go with the freezeland cow. MAID: would u like it with sweetner, sugar or honey? ME: sugar. MAID: bee sugar or cane sugar? ME: cane sugar MAID: white, brown or yellow sugar? ME: abeg, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water. MAID: mineral, tap or distilled water? ME: mineral water. MAID: flavoured or non flavoured? ME: infact get me an empty glass! MAID: do u want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug? ME:...

A man entered a barber's shop to barb his head. As the barber was barbing his hair, he saw a pretty lady sitting in the shop. And said "hello baby you look so beautiful, do you mind if we spend the night together? The lady said NO i'm married.

1. WHY DO GIRLS LIVE LONGER THAN GUYS. =shopping never causes heart attack. But paying the bills does. Lol 2. Rap Gang: Eight(8) men were rapping a woman, instead of crying, she was laughing, the men never bothered they even went for second rounds each, since she was not crying, when they were fully satisfied, they dressed up. And when they were about to leave, they asked her why she was laughing and smiling instead of crying. She said "MY DEAR, YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND, SINCE I CONTACTED HIV NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THIS WITH ME" the men fainted. Lol 3. A man stole A CHURCH CLOCK JUST BECAUSE HE HEARD THAT Pastor Said that GOD'S TIME IS THE BEST. Could u Imagine. 4. Smokers are liable to die young. Men i better start drinking alcohol maybe drinkers are liable to live long. Lol 5. I can go round the Earth in a seconds, YES! In a SECONDS! Do you wanna know how? Just Draw the Map of the World and Stand on It. Behold You have Reached the Whole World. Hahahahahahahaha! Shi...

US President Barack Obama conquered a long-term smoking habit because he was afraid of his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, he has joked with a UN official. The jesting admission, which the president made apparently unaware he was on camera, came at the UN General Assembly in New York on Monday. Mr Obama privately told a human rights campaigner that he had not had a cigarette in roughly six years. "That's because I'm scared of my wife," he said with a smile. The conversation between Mr Obama and Maina Kiai, the UN special rapporteur on the rights to freedom of peaceful assembly and of association, occurred near an open microphone and was later broadcast by CNN. "I hope you've quit smoking," Mr Obama said to Mr Kiai, a Kenyan. "Sometimes," Mr Kiai responded, as the two smiled and shook hands. Both Mr Obama and Mr Kiai attended Harvard University Law School. Mr Obama has publicly acknowledged his struggles to quit smoking in the past. In ...

US President Barack Obama conquered a long-term smoking habit because he was afraid of his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, he has joked with a UN official. The jesting admission, which the president made apparently unaware he was on camera, came at the UN General Assembly in New York on Monday. Mr Obama privately told a human rights campaigner that he had not had a cigarette in roughly six years. "That's because I'm scared of my wife," he said with a smile. The conversation between Mr Obama and Maina Kiai, the UN special rapporteur on the rights to freedom of peaceful assembly and of association, occurred near an open microphone and was later broadcast by CNN. "I hope you've quit smoking," Mr Obama said to Mr Kiai, a Kenyan. "Sometimes," Mr Kiai responded, as the two smiled and shook hands. Both Mr Obama and Mr Kiai attended Harvard University Law School. Mr Obama has publicly acknowledged his struggles to quit smoking in the past. In ...

A man saw a vacancy at a Zoo office and decided to apply. On reaching there, he found out that the work he was required to do was to disguise like a monkey and play like one so that the little children coming to visit the Zoo will think its a monkey since they have run short of monkeys in the Zoo. So he disguised like a monkey and was jumping from one place to another when mistakenly he fell into the Lions den. He then started shouting for help when the Lion said to him - " You better keep quite, if not well both loose our jobs". ~ hahahaha! What kind of Zoo is this?

A man saw a vacancy at a Zoo office and decided to apply. On reaching there, he found out that the work he was required to do was to disguise like a monkey and play like one so that the little children coming to visit the Zoo will think its a monkey since they have run short of monkeys in the Zoo. So he disguised like a monkey and was jumping from one place to another when mistakenly he fell into the Lions den. He then started shouting for help when the Lion said to him - " You better keep quite, if not well both loose our jobs". ~ hahahaha! What kind of Zoo is this?

While prison populations grows in the United Kingdom, with overcrowded cells and repeat offenders, the opposite is happening in the Netherlands. The Dutch justice ministry has announced that the country is going to close at least 8 prisons due to a lack of criminals. According to the local media, the country has the capacity for 14,000 prisoners and there are only 12,000 detainees. The decrease is expected to continue, the ministry said, also the natural redundancy and other measures should counter any forced lay-offs. A last year report on prison overcrowding said that surging populations undermined the rehabilitation of prisoners and risked increasing reoffending in the future. The Criminal Justice Alliance (CJA), which represents more than 60 organisations, called for the government to urgently limit "the unnecessary use of prison, ensuring it is reserved for serious, persistent and violent offenders for whom no alternative sanction is appropriate". It came after Chi...